Thoughts + very cute fennec foxes - PHOTOS

Hi people,

some of you mentioned, that you miss some personal part of my journals. Well, your interest about my personal life pleased me, it is nice to know, that for some of you, I might be something more than just a source of wolf photos
If you do not want to read recent news, feel free to scroll down to see cute fennec foxes



My personal life... well, I am not very successful right now.

As I am supposed to finish my studying in January, I should be writing last parts of my final thesis, but I can not kick myself to even start. I have total block - I can not even write my favorite fanfiction stories, I am not able to write several sentences, which would be good enough. I must at least pass my graduation exams in January, so the plan for next days is to start studying and to try hard to finish that thesis. If some MAJOR miracle happens, I still might get my second master degree in two months. But as I say, I am blocked.

The part about studying does not sound so bad, as I have already finished all the subjects I need to go through to get to graduation exams. I finished them in summer. But as I am only waiting for winter's graduation exams now, I am in fact unemployed, not a student. Which is not a nice situation. My university is very prestigious and it is pretty bad psychical shock to jump from "student of very good school" to status of "unemployed person". Oh well.

I am looking for a job, but I am pretty bad at it. It makes my parents crazy, and they are totally right. I contacted some companies, but I am in fact afraid I would fail as an employee. I know my education is quite good, but when I apply for a job, I feel like knowing NOTHING. I have always known that education is not everything and that many persons without good schools can be much more successful than people with degrees. But I feel like one of those persons who can say "hey, I have ten university degreeees, but I am in fact an idiot, who is not able to count to five". My parents say that such feeling normal and that company always shows you what to do, but... I somehow do not know. I also write an email or I send a letter and I feel like waiting for a reply, while my parents want me to send many letter to many various offices and companies. They are probably right.

Another news - as all the companies want to hire only a person who is able to drive a car, I will soon attend a driving school to get a driving license. I will start soon, hopefully get a license in two months or so...


I have very low self-confidence, mostly because I am really overweight a lot. I have a stupid feeling, that if I went to some company for a job interview, everybody would laugh at me. Because in my field, question of look really matters, as I studied PR, marketing, journalism and advertising. Even teachers told us, that "unfortunately", ugly persons usually... :/

So I am trying to lose weight again.
I know you are probably laughing because you know that I tried that also before. But I stopped, because I visited my beloved granny in a hospital every day for weeks, I spent hours with her and when I got home, I was so exhausted, that I could not do any sport. Also, soon after I lost my granny, I had to give an exercise bike back to my aunt, who needs it too.

But as my parents always support all my attempts to lose weight (thanks!), they bought me brand new super modern exercise bike, which is even higher than me!
I know it cost terrible amount of money, so I use it really every day. My sister (who eats all the time, but who is super mega slim) told me to ride it some 35 minutes a day, but I usually use it more minutes, which is good. Honestly, I do not like sport - so I just prepare a bottle of cold water flavoured with little amount of apple juice, I turn on TV and while I ride a bike, I watch "Cold case" or "Without a trace". Watching TV helps me to forget that I am riding a bike, so I am able to ride some 40 minutes without a problem. I am also getting better, my record was 27 km in 60 minutes, while when I started, it took me almost the same amount of minutes to ride 15 Km. Hehe.
And because I sport, I do not want to ruin this effort with eating bad food. So I am a good girl, eating 5 times a day, having healthy food.
I hope I will see results soon, because I am a kind of person who must see results to be motivated to continue.
I bought some really nice modern shirts, but I must lose weight to be able to wear them, so it is a kind of motivation too.

I must lose weight, I promised it to my granny

And I am trying to visit and contact my grandfather as much and often as possible. Tomorrow I am seeing him again.
But I miss my friends I do not blame them, unlike me, they are all active and busy. I just miss them. And I feel as an extremely inefficient loser compared to my friends. I wish I could see them again!


So nothing very positive about my personal life, but well, let's see what happens.